trickyoutwice: (prepare for trouble)
a perfectly normal, peaceful night with absolutely nothing exciting going on )

What do you mean, the shark’s in the bathroom? It’s not supposed to—

[A DOOR CREAKS OPEN, THEN ABRUPTLY SLAMS SHUT AGAIN.]

...The shark’s in the bathroom.

Yep. [Having a compatriot to his not-freaking-out restores at least some of Niou’s usual cool, so he manages stunned instead of JESUS CHRIST IT’S A LION SHARK GET IN THE CAR.] Sure is.

[There’s a pause and the sound of footsteps as Niou pads closer to the door again and opens it a crack to peer inside.]

How the fuck did the shark get to the bathroom? There’s stairs.

[Before any more brilliant commentary can be added, something growls and Niou screams as the shark leverages itself out of the bathtub and makes a determined lunge straight for his face, accompanied by the sound of cracking, splintering wood as it propels itself right into the door— and gets stuck in a neat, shark-shaped hole halfway through.

Fortunately, quick reflexes on Yagyuu’s part (honed from years of tennis and supplemented by over two years of stupid Pokemon incidents like this one) save the day, and the thud of bodies hitting the floor quickly follows as he unceremoniously grabs Niou by the collar and forcibly hurls them both backwards, away from the door and the shark now snapping ineffectually in the middle of it.]


...Do you suppose it’s — ah...stuck? There? In the...

[No, but really, though, HOLY SHIT.

Meanwhile, the rapid skittering of sixty-four fuzzy little sets of toenails clicking against floorboards abruptly begins to ring out, sounding like a cross between Flight of the Bumblebee as performed on a typewriter and a Chicago Typewriter gunning down a mass of bumblebees. It is, evidently, Yagyuu’s Eevee Battalion, rushing the scene with a single desperate thought dominating every one of their fuzzy little brains:

GRANDPA MIGHT BE IN TROUBLE.

Clearly the only thing to do is to storm the scene in a mass stampede and find out.]


Do we really wanna wait to find ou— ack!

[Niou, sadly still unaccustomed to the warning signs of a full on Eevee rush, gets bowled over by the stampede just as he’s managed to brush himself off and climb to his feet. He goes down squawking in a wild flail of limbs and only manages to dig himself out of the newly installed carpet of furry bodies, only to yelp and scramble back as he finds himself once again in far too close quarters with his nemesis the shark.

If he’s using Yagyuu for cover at this point, well, luckily for the sake of his dignity, no one can actually see it.]


...they’re kinda late for a rescue. [If he acts like he didn’t nearly just leap into Yagyuu’s arms, then it didn’t happen, right? Right.]

“Rescue” isn’t the word I would use an—

[And there’s probably more conversation ensuing from that point on, but it’s not like the Gear’s microphone can pick any of it up, what with the newly-arrived cacophony of clicking nails, rustling fur, and sixteen bitty Eeveelutions yapping incessantly at the snarling, trapped glittershark in their midst.]
trickyoutwice: (bored)
[Morning in Johto sure is lovely with all this nice weather, but that's not the reason Niou's out sitting at a cafe in Goldenrod so bright and early. He looks none too pleased to be awake, too, what with the way he's kind of slumped at his table and hunched over his Gear, staring a bit blearily down at the screen.]

So I've been reliably informed [read: read the riot act] that cats just wandering around town aren't actually strays that need to be adopted and it doesn't matter if they just followed you home, pokemon all have owners and it's very rude to try to steal them. [That last bit has the cadence of bored recitation, like he's just saying the words to appease someone— or mock whatever lecture that someone had given him. The latter option seems more likely with how Niou's rolling his eyes.] Even if you didn't mean to.

[As if on cue, a Purrloin pokes its head up beneath Niou's chin and meows at the screen. Despite its "kidnapping," the pokemon looks none the worse for the wear. If anything, in fact, it looks a little smug, especially when Niou glances down at it and smiles in a kind of helplessly charmed way. The purring when he starts scratching behind the Purrloin's ears is probably a pretty good indication that it doesn't mind its current situation in the slightest.]

Yeah, whoever's pokemon this is? I've got your purple cat thing. Sorry about that. [But he doesn't actually sound sorry at all. It's not like he's gonna feel that bad about pampering someone's pet for a day.] Lemme know if you wanna come pick it up. Or if you know whose it is.

[Just before the feed cuts off, Niou can be seen offering the Purrloin what looks to be a very, very choice cut of fish. Yeah, this poor, abducted cat, it's really going through a hard time, what with being treated like royalty.]

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Niou Masaharu

April 2023

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