Niou Masaharu (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
trickyoutwice) wrote2013-07-23 01:44 am
trickyoutwice) wrote2013-07-23 01:44 am
3rd trick; (voice)
[The setting of the story: A dark and stormy perfectly lovely evening where all good boys and girls are safely tucked away in their beds, dreaming of Mareeps. However, one of the heros of this story (neither of them, in fact) is a good little boy, and the middle of the night sees Niou groggily getting out of bed and trudging down the hall for the bathroom, too half-asleep to even rub the grit out of his eyes.
Which is why it might be understandable that when he flips on the light switch and sees a giant purple Sharpedo grinning very, very toothily at him from the bathtub, he blinks and flips off the lights again. And then turns them back on.
Yeah, the killer shark thing that’d decided upon first sight that he was a tasty treat is still there, still showing way too many razor-sharp teeth. This time, Niou takes a step back, slams the door, and does what any sensible young man in his position would do: shrieks bloody murder for his partner so he’s not the only one miserably awake and dealing with this shit.]
Yagyuu! YAGYUU! The shark’s in the bathroom!
[Naturally, Yagyuu is not currently awake to be hearing this; Yagyuu is at the moment sleeping quite peacefully in his bed, dreaming ofmushroom sugarplum fairies and Seigaku losing miserably at middle-school tennis tournaments. However, at the sound of Niou’s frantic shout, he jolts upright and instinctively grabs for his glasses, already half out of bed by the time he’s managed to get them opened and on his face.
Unfortunately, that blind and hurried grab had the misfortune of jolting most of the contents of the table, which in turn knocked into someone’s Gear; the point where it hits the ground and switches on roughly coincides with the moment when Yagyuu’s made it into the hall, which means the recording for the network’s consumption begins just in time to hear: ]
What do you mean, the shark’s in the bathroom? It’s not supposed to—
[A DOOR CREAKS OPEN, THEN ABRUPTLY SLAMS SHUT AGAIN.]
...The shark’s in the bathroom.
Yep. [Having a compatriot to his not-freaking-out restores at least some of Niou’s usual cool, so he manages stunned instead of JESUS CHRIST IT’S ALION SHARK GET IN THE CAR.] Sure is.
[There’s a pause and the sound of footsteps as Niou pads closer to the door again and opens it a crack to peer inside.]
How the fuck did the shark get to the bathroom? There’s stairs.
[Before any more brilliant commentary can be added, something growls and Niou screams as the shark leverages itself out of the bathtub and makes a determined lunge straight for his face, accompanied by the sound of cracking, splintering wood as it propels itself right into the door— and gets stuck in a neat, shark-shaped hole halfway through.
Fortunately, quick reflexes on Yagyuu’s part (honed from years of tennis and supplemented by over two years of stupid Pokemon incidents like this one) save the day, and the thud of bodies hitting the floor quickly follows as he unceremoniously grabs Niou by the collar and forcibly hurls them both backwards, away from the door and the shark now snapping ineffectually in the middle of it.]
...Do you suppose it’s — ah...stuck? There? In the...
[No, but really, though, HOLY SHIT.
Meanwhile, the rapid skittering of sixty-four fuzzy little sets of toenails clicking against floorboards abruptly begins to ring out, sounding like a cross between Flight of the Bumblebee as performed on a typewriter and a Chicago Typewriter gunning down a mass of bumblebees. It is, evidently, Yagyuu’s Eevee Battalion, rushing the scene with a single desperate thought dominating every one of their fuzzy little brains:
GRANDPA MIGHT BE IN TROUBLE.
Clearly the only thing to do is to storm the scene in a mass stampede and find out.]
Do we really wanna wait to find ou— ack!
[Niou, sadly still unaccustomed to the warning signs of a full on Eevee rush, gets bowled over by the stampede just as he’s managed to brush himself off and climb to his feet. He goes down squawking in a wild flail of limbs and only manages to dig himself out of the newly installed carpet of furry bodies, only to yelp and scramble back as he finds himself once again in far too close quarters with his nemesis the shark.
If he’s using Yagyuu for cover at this point, well, luckily for the sake of his dignity, no one can actually see it.]
...they’re kinda late for a rescue. [If he acts like he didn’t nearly just leap into Yagyuu’s arms, then it didn’t happen, right? Right.]
“Rescue” isn’t the word I would use an—
[And there’s probably more conversation ensuing from that point on, but it’s not like the Gear’s microphone can pick any of it up, what with the newly-arrived cacophony of clicking nails, rustling fur, and sixteen bitty Eeveelutions yapping incessantly at the snarling, trapped glittershark in their midst.]
Which is why it might be understandable that when he flips on the light switch and sees a giant purple Sharpedo grinning very, very toothily at him from the bathtub, he blinks and flips off the lights again. And then turns them back on.
Yeah, the killer shark thing that’d decided upon first sight that he was a tasty treat is still there, still showing way too many razor-sharp teeth. This time, Niou takes a step back, slams the door, and does what any sensible young man in his position would do: shrieks bloody murder for his partner so he’s not the only one miserably awake and dealing with this shit.]
Yagyuu! YAGYUU! The shark’s in the bathroom!
[Naturally, Yagyuu is not currently awake to be hearing this; Yagyuu is at the moment sleeping quite peacefully in his bed, dreaming of
Unfortunately, that blind and hurried grab had the misfortune of jolting most of the contents of the table, which in turn knocked into someone’s Gear; the point where it hits the ground and switches on roughly coincides with the moment when Yagyuu’s made it into the hall, which means the recording for the network’s consumption begins just in time to hear: ]
What do you mean, the shark’s in the bathroom? It’s not supposed to—
[A DOOR CREAKS OPEN, THEN ABRUPTLY SLAMS SHUT AGAIN.]
...The shark’s in the bathroom.
Yep. [Having a compatriot to his not-freaking-out restores at least some of Niou’s usual cool, so he manages stunned instead of JESUS CHRIST IT’S A
[There’s a pause and the sound of footsteps as Niou pads closer to the door again and opens it a crack to peer inside.]
How the fuck did the shark get to the bathroom? There’s stairs.
[Before any more brilliant commentary can be added, something growls and Niou screams as the shark leverages itself out of the bathtub and makes a determined lunge straight for his face, accompanied by the sound of cracking, splintering wood as it propels itself right into the door— and gets stuck in a neat, shark-shaped hole halfway through.
Fortunately, quick reflexes on Yagyuu’s part (honed from years of tennis and supplemented by over two years of stupid Pokemon incidents like this one) save the day, and the thud of bodies hitting the floor quickly follows as he unceremoniously grabs Niou by the collar and forcibly hurls them both backwards, away from the door and the shark now snapping ineffectually in the middle of it.]
...Do you suppose it’s — ah...stuck? There? In the...
[No, but really, though, HOLY SHIT.
Meanwhile, the rapid skittering of sixty-four fuzzy little sets of toenails clicking against floorboards abruptly begins to ring out, sounding like a cross between Flight of the Bumblebee as performed on a typewriter and a Chicago Typewriter gunning down a mass of bumblebees. It is, evidently, Yagyuu’s Eevee Battalion, rushing the scene with a single desperate thought dominating every one of their fuzzy little brains:
GRANDPA MIGHT BE IN TROUBLE.
Clearly the only thing to do is to storm the scene in a mass stampede and find out.]
Do we really wanna wait to find ou— ack!
[Niou, sadly still unaccustomed to the warning signs of a full on Eevee rush, gets bowled over by the stampede just as he’s managed to brush himself off and climb to his feet. He goes down squawking in a wild flail of limbs and only manages to dig himself out of the newly installed carpet of furry bodies, only to yelp and scramble back as he finds himself once again in far too close quarters with his nemesis the shark.
If he’s using Yagyuu for cover at this point, well, luckily for the sake of his dignity, no one can actually see it.]
...they’re kinda late for a rescue. [If he acts like he didn’t nearly just leap into Yagyuu’s arms, then it didn’t happen, right? Right.]
“Rescue” isn’t the word I would use an—
[And there’s probably more conversation ensuing from that point on, but it’s not like the Gear’s microphone can pick any of it up, what with the newly-arrived cacophony of clicking nails, rustling fur, and sixteen bitty Eeveelutions yapping incessantly at the snarling, trapped glittershark in their midst.]
[action obvs]
—nyway; where they're concerned, it's really more like contributing to the chaos.
duuun dun duuun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun
They've gotta look like tastier treats than us, at least. You know, more bite sized. If it gets lose, maybe the it'll go for 'em first.
sharkundoru
You're lucky you're
cutehis doubles partner.]We're not feeding any of the Eevees to the shark.
[SO MAD.]
Likely they'd give it indigestion, anyway.
Re: sharkundoru
Fine, fine. So we're not sacrificing the fun brigade. What about feeding the shark to the man eating plant? It probably likes sushi.
no subject
The unfortunate thing is, it probably would. Aren't Water-types weak to Grass, anyway?
[He regards the sharkdoor with almost absurd calm, like it hasn't really sunk in yet that there is a fucking shark through his upstairs bathroom door. His life is like a Dali painting: fucking surreal.]
But I think the greater problem at the moment is, how do we get it out of the door? Surely we can't just...leave it there.
no subject
[The look Niou gives him is one of dubious curiosity.]
We'd have to touch it to get it out. Are you gonna touch it?
[Because Niou's not getting an inch closer to that menace. He's already had enough near-death experiences for one attempted trip to the bathroom, thank you very much.]
no subject
If it would hold still long enough to recall it, there's always the option of putting it back into its Pokeball. ...Assuming we can find its Pokeball in the midst of the other fiftysome in this house.
no subject
Yagyuu. Yagyuu, did you really decide not to keep track of the killer shark's pokeball?
no subject
I had a filing system at one point. A rather enthusiastic game of tag did it in and it hasn't recovered since.
[The Eevees don't even have the decency to look sheepish at that, the little bastards.]
It ought to be somewhere in the downstairs drawers, though.
no subject
...somehow I don't think we've got the time to go lookin' for it. It's not gonna hurt your delicate sensibilities if I get Thing to go whack it on the nose until it behaves, is it?
no subject
His fucking life.Still, he bears up well. Like a gentleman. No, like Sanada-kun, even. IMMOVABLE LIKE THE MOUNTAIN.
...if Sanada-kun were here, would he slap the shark for being careless in getting itself caught in the door, he wonders absently.]
Not in the least. Which Thing in particular would this be?
[Meanwhile, speaking of Sanada-kun, the Vaporeon in the Jack Purcell cap is beginning to look disgruntled by all this commotion...]
no subject
[Since said cats have cattily managed to sneak into the hall and perch themselves in conveniently out of danger locations so they can alternately eye the shark like so much raw salmon and turn away to lick their tails because they're too far above being interested in any of this excitement. If only they weren't all like level 10 and thus perfect shark food.]
One's sneaking around somewhere, she'll show up eventually.
no subject
[Meanwhile, their mortal nemeses the Eevee Brigade have sensed that their foes have arrived, and suddenly the battlefield is divided into two fronts: The Shark at one end, and The Cats at the other.
Meanwhile, all this sharking has apparently gotten to be too much for Napoleon the Sanadavee, because he is taking a moment to RESOUNDINGLY FISHSLAP the shark into submission, or at least a moment of stunned silence.
Yagyuu, for his part, is equally stunned.]
...Did you just...
[Please tell him you saw that too.]
no subject
Yagyuu. That's the one you named after Sanada, isn't it?
no subject
That's his cap, as well.
[He motions vaguely, as if to accompany his forthcoming clarification.]
When he left, it went to Kirihara-kun, and on his departure it came to me. Napoleon has always had a fondness for it; I thought it was simply an amusing coincidence, so I let him keep it.
no subject
Tonight is a very confusing night.]
Tell me it doesn't say "tarundoru." Lie if you've gotta.
[And the shark goes down in a heap of knocked-out defeat. Still stuck in their door.]
no subject
[Sanadavee, by the way, is looking rather proud of itself — or maybe just grumpy as hell, either way.]
no subject
[But credit where credit's due, and Sanada-related or not, not even Niou's feeling irked enough to ignore that being able to sleep tonight without fear of becoming a snack is entirely because of the Vaporean's striking imitation of their vice-captain. He mutters a grudging thanks, shifts his weight awkwardly as he does it, and adds to Yagyuu:]
But don't start thinking I like all of your menaces.