trickyoutwice: (prepare for trouble)
Niou Masaharu ([personal profile] trickyoutwice) wrote2013-07-23 01:44 am

3rd trick; (voice)

[The setting of the story: A dark and stormy perfectly lovely evening where all good boys and girls are safely tucked away in their beds, dreaming of Mareeps. However, one of the heros of this story (neither of them, in fact) is a good little boy, and the middle of the night sees Niou groggily getting out of bed and trudging down the hall for the bathroom, too half-asleep to even rub the grit out of his eyes.

Which is why it might be understandable that when he flips on the light switch and sees a giant purple Sharpedo grinning very, very toothily at him from the bathtub, he blinks and flips off the lights again. And then turns them back on.

Yeah, the killer shark thing that’d decided upon first sight that he was a tasty treat is still there, still showing way too many razor-sharp teeth. This time, Niou takes a step back, slams the door, and does what any sensible young man in his position would do: shrieks bloody murder for his partner so he’s not the only one miserably awake and dealing with this shit.]


Yagyuu! YAGYUU! The shark’s in the bathroom!

[Naturally, Yagyuu is not currently awake to be hearing this; Yagyuu is at the moment sleeping quite peacefully in his bed, dreaming of mushroom sugarplum fairies and Seigaku losing miserably at middle-school tennis tournaments. However, at the sound of Niou’s frantic shout, he jolts upright and instinctively grabs for his glasses, already half out of bed by the time he’s managed to get them opened and on his face.

Unfortunately, that blind and hurried grab had the misfortune of jolting most of the contents of the table, which in turn knocked into someone’s Gear; the point where it hits the ground and switches on roughly coincides with the moment when Yagyuu’s made it into the hall, which means the recording for the network’s consumption begins just in time to hear: ]


What do you mean, the shark’s in the bathroom? It’s not supposed to—

[A DOOR CREAKS OPEN, THEN ABRUPTLY SLAMS SHUT AGAIN.]

...The shark’s in the bathroom.

Yep. [Having a compatriot to his not-freaking-out restores at least some of Niou’s usual cool, so he manages stunned instead of JESUS CHRIST IT’S A LION SHARK GET IN THE CAR.] Sure is.

[There’s a pause and the sound of footsteps as Niou pads closer to the door again and opens it a crack to peer inside.]

How the fuck did the shark get to the bathroom? There’s stairs.

[Before any more brilliant commentary can be added, something growls and Niou screams as the shark leverages itself out of the bathtub and makes a determined lunge straight for his face, accompanied by the sound of cracking, splintering wood as it propels itself right into the door— and gets stuck in a neat, shark-shaped hole halfway through.

Fortunately, quick reflexes on Yagyuu’s part (honed from years of tennis and supplemented by over two years of stupid Pokemon incidents like this one) save the day, and the thud of bodies hitting the floor quickly follows as he unceremoniously grabs Niou by the collar and forcibly hurls them both backwards, away from the door and the shark now snapping ineffectually in the middle of it.]


...Do you suppose it’s — ah...stuck? There? In the...

[No, but really, though, HOLY SHIT.

Meanwhile, the rapid skittering of sixty-four fuzzy little sets of toenails clicking against floorboards abruptly begins to ring out, sounding like a cross between Flight of the Bumblebee as performed on a typewriter and a Chicago Typewriter gunning down a mass of bumblebees. It is, evidently, Yagyuu’s Eevee Battalion, rushing the scene with a single desperate thought dominating every one of their fuzzy little brains:

GRANDPA MIGHT BE IN TROUBLE.

Clearly the only thing to do is to storm the scene in a mass stampede and find out.]


Do we really wanna wait to find ou— ack!

[Niou, sadly still unaccustomed to the warning signs of a full on Eevee rush, gets bowled over by the stampede just as he’s managed to brush himself off and climb to his feet. He goes down squawking in a wild flail of limbs and only manages to dig himself out of the newly installed carpet of furry bodies, only to yelp and scramble back as he finds himself once again in far too close quarters with his nemesis the shark.

If he’s using Yagyuu for cover at this point, well, luckily for the sake of his dignity, no one can actually see it.]


...they’re kinda late for a rescue. [If he acts like he didn’t nearly just leap into Yagyuu’s arms, then it didn’t happen, right? Right.]

“Rescue” isn’t the word I would use an—

[And there’s probably more conversation ensuing from that point on, but it’s not like the Gear’s microphone can pick any of it up, what with the newly-arrived cacophony of clicking nails, rustling fur, and sixteen bitty Eeveelutions yapping incessantly at the snarling, trapped glittershark in their midst.]
usedlaserbeam: (AWKWARD Φ turtle turtle turtle turtle)

[action obvs]

[personal profile] usedlaserbeam 2013-07-23 06:02 am (UTC)(link)
[No, really, their lives are basically stupid as hell right now.]

—nyway; where they're concerned, it's really more like contributing to the chaos.
blundergirl: ... SO totally awkward. (◘ » Oh... right... well thats... uh...)

Video;

[personal profile] blundergirl 2013-07-23 06:11 am (UTC)(link)
... Is that supposed to be some kind of code...? [How the bleep is a shark in your bathroom wth are you guys talking about.]
blundergirl: I HATE being lookout! (◘ » I AM the lookout?! BUT WHY??)

[video]

[personal profile] blundergirl 2013-07-23 06:28 am (UTC)(link)
[Hey, she wasn't really WATCHING (her gear might have been buried under some clothes) she just heard "The shark is in the bathroom!" and caught the tail end of the feed. So she just gives you a flat look for your trouble because REALLY? But then the view is already shifting and- GAH!]

... Okay that's just creepy, but also kind of cool. Looks like your cavalry has the situation handled. [Now she can kind of make sense of it all- there is LITERALLY a shark.

With like, half a body.

How does Pokemon even work, she swears on the river Styx she'll never get it-]
Edited 2013-07-23 06:28 (UTC)
blundergirl: NUTHIIIIIIIN'. CAUSE YOU A PUNK. (♥ » Whatcha gonna do about it?)

[personal profile] blundergirl 2013-07-23 06:53 am (UTC)(link)
Points for effort, maybe?

[At least they weren't trying to EAT you. But that smile gives her the chills and AHAHA no.]

Oh yeah, friendly. [She smirks and puts her free hand on her hip.] Friendly like one of Keto's kids, maybe. [But if she could help she'd be willing to try, done properly.] What, does it keep getting out of it's Pokeball or something?
Edited (VERBAL TICKS) 2013-07-23 06:57 (UTC)
usedlaserbeam: (CRANKY Φ nobody left cake in the rain)

sharkundoru

[personal profile] usedlaserbeam 2013-07-23 07:23 am (UTC)(link)
[Gosh, thanks, Niou-kun, just use him as a meat shield why don't you. B|

You're lucky you're cute his doubles partner.]


We're not feeding any of the Eevees to the shark.

[SO MAD.]

Likely they'd give it indigestion, anyway.

video;

[personal profile] ex_cashcow493 2013-07-23 08:41 am (UTC)(link)
There is a shark in the bathroom. [ Saber repeats in her disbelief.

Sorry, her mind is kind of stuck on that tidbit. ]
paladinlost: (curious)

[video]

[personal profile] paladinlost 2013-07-23 09:27 pm (UTC)(link)
...Considering that Magikarps can somehow fight on land, a Sharpedo that can climb stairs is not that surprising.

[Still a bit freaky, though.]
paladinlost: (err)

[video]

[personal profile] paladinlost 2013-07-23 10:46 pm (UTC)(link)
They learn Tackle if you are patient enough. Not everyone is.

[Cecil's had it easy; his were Gyarados from the beginning.]
usedlaserbeam: (STUNNED Φ stupid sexy sanada's abs)

[personal profile] usedlaserbeam 2013-07-24 01:31 am (UTC)(link)
[Don't hate him just because his roster is a clusterfuck, Niou-kun.]

The unfortunate thing is, it probably would. Aren't Water-types weak to Grass, anyway?

[He regards the sharkdoor with almost absurd calm, like it hasn't really sunk in yet that there is a fucking shark through his upstairs bathroom door. His life is like a Dali painting: fucking surreal.]

But I think the greater problem at the moment is, how do we get it out of the door? Surely we can't just...leave it there.
usedlaserbeam: (POKE Φ dibs on the dead guy's wallet)

Video;

[personal profile] usedlaserbeam 2013-07-24 01:39 am (UTC)(link)
[And awhile after Niou, Yagyuu himself makes an appearance, equally exasperated at the fact that their midnight shenanigans apparently posted to the network, but less outwardly expressive about it.

Inwardly, naturally, he's still sputtering.]


Ah, no, I'm afraid it's rather unfortunately literal.

[HIS. FUCKING. LIFE.]
usedlaserbeam: (BOOK Φ it won't study itself)

video;

[personal profile] usedlaserbeam 2013-07-24 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
It's unfortunately just as absurd in reality as it sounds spoken aloud, Saber-san.

[FACE. HANDS.]
usedlaserbeam: (CRANKY Φ nobody left cake in the rain)

[video]

[personal profile] usedlaserbeam 2013-07-24 01:41 am (UTC)(link)
I have to imagine someone would've noticed a shark climbing the stairs, though.

[CECIL WHY DO YOU DO THIS. THE THOUGHT IS HORRIFYING. It's like Sharknado meets The Shining, jesus christ.]
usedlaserbeam: (SPECULATE Φ might've left the gas on)

[personal profile] usedlaserbeam 2013-07-24 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
[The real question is, did he manage to go to the bathroom before the shark incident, or is he still holding it, or did that particular problem resolve itself sometime between point A and point B, in which case, ew.]

If it would hold still long enough to recall it, there's always the option of putting it back into its Pokeball. ...Assuming we can find its Pokeball in the midst of the other fiftysome in this house.
usedlaserbeam: (FLAT Φ my skepticism let me show you it)

[personal profile] usedlaserbeam 2013-07-24 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
[...You know they have a cow and she's out back sleeping peacefully in the barn, probably. Maybe they could get her to come home, followed by having her punch the shark out of the door.]

I had a filing system at one point. A rather enthusiastic game of tag did it in and it hasn't recovered since.

[The Eevees don't even have the decency to look sheepish at that, the little bastards.]

It ought to be somewhere in the downstairs drawers, though.

Page 1 of 4